Tuesday 29 September 2009

Dreams: 29.09.2009



The first day after a long time I wear Nic patch (step2) during my sleep.
I love the effect when I see an amazing sky with full of stars, which happened this morning.

I was visiting cafe Oto though the place in my dream was different to the real place, more hippy with hammocks and wooden benches, I love the place all the same.
I was talking to Keiko (the owner) in the sunny part of the venue, I say "I'd bake a green tea cake with red bean curd" and she goes "Oh yes! we'd work on that for cafe and I'd even take a day off for it, let's do it!" I am happy because I can contributing something I love for somewhere/people I love. We talk passionately about the place.
Now we are watching the earth with some astronomical movement, not burning but like a mini big ban, very copper red and atmosphere with surrounding stars are all swelling up and down (like in the pic above), beside this phenomenon we can spot many many shooting stars.
We watch this in owe.

Next, I was visiting family friends of Matsubara in Brazil.
I am holding a baby girl of about 8 months old wearing baby pink clothes, presumably of Marcelo and Lucia's baby. (that they just found out they're having) and another baby is held by someone else (Lucia or my mom, I don't remember). The baby seems to find it comfortable and sleeping in my arms. We are on the move to somewhere, walking in group of 5-6 of us in subarban city with some ran down buildings and squares. At one point we have to gp through the fenced area we find a hole to pass but I decide it's barely a size of a baby and not worth risking, I didn't want the baby to wake from her peaceful mind. We have bonded very well and the baby smiles at me time to time and we could talk in our heads to communicate.
Somehow we arrive at where we should, home of Matsubara I think where Mrs Matsubara welcomes us back and the babies are wiped well.
I could see the semi-bubbled smooth skin of the babies. The older one (that I wasn't holding) gets wind blown to dry by someone with a paper fan, seeing that, the baby I ws with comes to me and whispers to my ear "I want the wind too" I was pleased with her opening up to me and happily give her some wind to dry, she looks happy.

Saturday 26 September 2009

Dreams: 26.09.2009

I had a dream of fire, it was scary and even felt a bit of heat.
I was having a meal with Mariko in a restaurant but looked more of market food stall.
We were sharing a big plate of pizza like food, a taster of different flavor (some being very Japanese flavour like Yuzu and Daikon).
I was sitting so far from her we couldn't talk, so I moved my s
eating to next to her.
When we were still eating, a Chinese guy came in running and shouting in Chinese, he tells me something in upsetting state, he sensed I don't understand the language, so went to tell other people, but at this time I saw a fire blaze coming our way from Mariko's side of the building.
We panicked, and I took her hand and started running towards window which leads to outside.
At this point, the fire was so close we needed immediate evacuation.
We noticed that the way we were going to escape from the fire was also in blaze and found ourselves sandwiched in fire.
The ground got very hot and I was in bare feet.
Mariko was couching and sat down almost losing to fight, I tried
to take her but she wouldn't come, so I make a move more towards the open field where this happened to be the playground near my home in Japan.
I felt like I abandoned her, but somehow she made it where I was where f
inally was safe from the fire.

Another dream was full of bees.
They were flying everywhere and were more than 100's in group.
I blush around to avoid contact, but at some point they seemed to be sleeping/resting and they all had shells over their body which all had various illustrations, like those in London cabs, some advert designs on them.
I spot some had helmet illustrations on and some similar ones and so on.



Sunday 6 September 2009

Mosaic portfolio 1: in my eyes



Dreams: 06.09.2009


I had a dream, greatly influenced by the book I'm reading now, "Black Rain" by Masuji Ibuse, a fiction about Hiroshima Bomb based on historical accord of the nu-clear bomb attack in Hiroshima.
I was first having a peaceful picnic in a big forest and there were many people and family having a nice picnic day. I am with a friend I don't remember who now, walking around the field and find some military people patrolling and I suddenly feel uneasy about the air.
When I come back to where we were sitting, there are bits of many things left from people's picnic stuff, a cardigan, a sitting blanket, a bottle of wine, water, sandwiches, fruits etc abandoned so suddenly and everyone had vanished, it was very ghosty scene.
I find a woman who was sitting only in her underwear, she can't find a dress she was wearing, looking very vacant and perplexed.
Next thing I know, I was injured all my skin, burned so it was swollen and red with fresh water blisters, and along with many other people (from the picnic scene) I was forced to walk through a big building from room to room. I was forced to dip in a hot bath which only worsen my skin wound and I get scared but I am more scared by the guards who watch over us to make sure we all obey the orders. I come across my old friend Kano, who had just come out from the bath, all her skin so red and inflamed, she said hi to me but she had this vacant sad look in her eyes, surrendering to the situation she had been placed. (no defense but accept and obey)
I try to watch what's going on here and see if there is a chance I could escape, but no hope there, I'm just too scared so I try not to stand out and follow the sad crowd.

(end)

I feel a strong gut that tells me I miss and love Hiroshima where my mother is from and most of her side relatives all experienced the bomb. I spent my childhood summer holiday there listening to the temple's bells on the 6th of August at 8:15AM (the time the bomb struck) annually when everyone gives a minute silent pray and everything becomes stand-still for it. I spent the hot summer days in my little room in my grand parents house reading "Hadashi no Gen"("Barefoot Gen" now translated in English and I greatly recommend a read and was made into Anime TV series too here is a part-*warning:pretty shocking content-) cartoon about a boy who survived the bomb but witness so many agony in people who were left in a burning Hiroshima where lots of blackened bodies lay and people barely alive with their skin all hanging wander unconsciously.
All those people who survived and had so many stories are now dying after 64 years on now, strange it may be but not just an accord of the Hiroshima bomb but purely for the meaning of being one Japanese national I feel I have to know more about the history and the roots of myself.